musings: an introduction.

I have lots of thoughts.

As in, my mind is very inquisitive about the whys and hows of people and life. Often times I create the whys and hows when there are not immediate answers to satisfy my curiosity.

For example, I always wonder how bumper stickers end up getting put on crooked. In my mind a bumper sticker is a pretty serious commitment.  They are usually positing some personal belief or at the very least some kind of identification of whoever drives the car. On top of that, once it’s on there you can’t just easily peel it off and try again, you have one shot at greatness.  I guess the gravity of applying a bumper sticker comes from a Dad who painstakingly measured anything to the millimeter before it was hung or applied with extreme care to ensure it’s symmetry and balance. {disclaimer: I am the one who in such excitement to get things on the wall will end up putting 47 holes in the sheet rock to hang one picture.}

So, I might decide when I see a crooked bumper sticker the car owner was in their driveway one sunny Sunday afternoon carefully contemplating where they wanted to place this new badge of honor for other road warriors to see.  All of a sudden, just in the moment the adhesive was to touch the bumper, it happened.  From out of nowhere a stealthy spider dangled down from it’s web directly in front of the bumper stick installer and scared the bajeezus out of them causing the sticker to get slanted in its application.  Or maybe the real reason behind crooked bumper stickers is people are just so excited to get them on there they don’t use my Dad’s precision, but instead my confident fire, aim, ready approach.  Either way…

These kinds of things go through my mind, in rapid succession.  I can tell you’re concerned.

However sometimes I get to the more complicated issues of life.  I can’t seem to spin a story that makes any kind of sense.  I have these monologues in my mind about whys and hows.  What sometimes feels like a very one-sided conversation with God I know is really Him working on me, pulling me further away from easy explanations and snap judgements.

The older I get I seem to have more questions and less answers, there is so much more grey than black and white.

While at the same time I feel more sure of who I am becoming than ever before.  God seems to give us what we need. I have always needed more than so many other things, to know who I am, and He gives without hesitation.  I rest in that.

I intend for this space to be a place where I can flesh out some of the grey in my day to day life, along with the funny, mundane, and random, and especially to record my adventures when I move to Shanghai in August.

The title for this blog comes from one of my favorite books, Love Does by Bob Goff.  He says that living life with too much fanfare and too much focus on presenting the impressive version of yourself ends up with you getting tangled in your cape instead of being loving and effective. Be secretly incredible.  So, no cape here.  A long suppressed love of writing and the potential to sow lots of good memories plus the prodding from a good friend have culminated in the existence of this space.  Enjoy.

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